Here is my exchange with Eng (means Mr.) Shinkafi Badmus (heretofore known as Shinky) in regards to him trying to steal my money.  My co-worker Dennis (his website) and I sent him messages over about a week.   All of his spelling and grammar errors have been left intact, all of Dennis' and my errors are on purpose.  For the purpose of deceiving this dumbass I told him my name is Dave and Dennis is Reginald Farnsworth and Ace Lombardi.  I changed or edited the email addresses.  My notes to help you along are in bold.

shinkafi badmus <shinkbadmus@yahoo.com> wrote:

Subj:	Partnership
Date:	12/11/2002 3:42:02 PM Mountain Standard Time
From:	shinkbadmus@yahoo.com
To:	Me

  Dear Sir/Madam,

  REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE IN A FINANCIAL TRANSACTION
(boring)
I am making this contact with you based on trust and confidence I have for you, your Company and God irrespective of the fact that we have not met before and because of the nature of the business I am about to introduce to you, I want to remain positive having the faith, the will and convincing myself that you will be interested and capable to do business with me.

This business proposal I wish to intimate you with is of mutual benefit and it’s success is entirely based on mutual trust, cooperation and a high level of confidentiality as regard this transaction.

I am the Chairman of the contract Advisory Committee(CAC) of the Nigerian Federal Ministry of Works and Housing (FMWH). I am seeking your assistance to enable me transfer the sum of US$17,000,000.00 (Seventeen million United States Dollars) into your private/company account.

The fund came about as a result of a contract awarded and executed on behalf of my Ministry, the Federal Ministry of Works and Housing. The contract was supposed to be awarded to two foreign contractors to the tune of US$60,000,000.00 (Sixty Million United States Dollars). But in the course of negotiation, the contract was awarded to a Bulgarian contractor at the cost of US$43,000,000.00 (Forty-Three Million United States Dollars) to my benefit unknown to the contractor.

This contract has been satisfactorily executed and inspected as the Bulgarian firm is presently securing payment from my Ministry, where I am the Executive Director in-charge of all foreign contract payment approval.

As a civil servant still in active government service, I am forbidden by law to operate an account outside the shores of Nigeria. Hence this message to you seeking your assistance so as to enable me present your private/company account details as a beneficiary of contractual claims alongside that of the Bulgarian contractor, to enable me transfer the difference of US$17,000,000.00 (Seventeen Million United States Dollars) into your provided account. On actualization,the fund will be disbursed as stated below.

1. 30% of the fund will be for you as beneficiary.

2. 10% for reimbursement to both parties for incidental expenses that may be incurred during the course of the transaction.

3. 60% of the fund will be for me which I intend to invest in your country with you as my partner.

All logistics are in place and all modalities worked out for a smooth actualization of the transaction within the next few working days of commencement.

For further details as to the workability of this transaction, please respond by return mail on my confidential Email :shinkbadmus14@yahoo.com

Thank you and God bless as I'm anxiously waiting for your urgent response. Please when replying, indicate your confidential Tel and Fax numbers & provide a company name you would like us to use in applying for payment for urgent conclusion of the transaction.

NOTE: Your line of business does not matter, only that you must keep this transaction close to your heart at all times.

Yours Faithfully,

Engr Shinkafi Badmus

I wrote: 

That sounds great! Just tell me what to do! Thanks for trusting me!

Dave

Shinky wrote:

(E-mail title:  Re: Re: Partnership)

My dear friend

Thank you for your positive response to my email of mutual benefit.  Like I told you in my email to you, I am the director of works FMW&H Nigeria and the chairman contract review panel. I am married with five children. I have put in 27 years in the service of my ministry and will be retiring by March next year.

The file to this transfer is already on my table all I now need are your company details so as to perfect the file to reflect you  or your company if any as the foreign contractor that carried out erosion control and the construction of drainage system along the Warri/Port-highcourt Highway measuring 415km.  I assure you that all documents as regard this transfer will be sent to you and I will always work as your agent in Nigeria. There is no risk involved as no body will ever know that you are not the contractor that did the job once your file is approved for payment along side the Bulgarian firm by my panel. Please, retype the application below on your letter headed paper and fax back to my direct tel/fax line 23482046126214  so as to enable me make application on your behalf to the Federal Ministry Finance of Nigeria for final payment.                                                                                                                               

YOUR ADDRESS

The Accountant Genreal

Federal Ministry Of Finance

Federal  Secretariat Building

Lagos-Nigeria.

Dear Sir,

APPLICATION FOR CONTRACTUAL CLAIM

I hereby apply for the payment of USD17M (seventeen million United State

dollars) being payment due to……………………………………………… in respect of contract

no.PEFD/043/FMW&H/WR-PH/97; which has been dully completed and commissioned.

I shall be grateful if this application is treated with dispatch.

This fax copy should be accepted in place of the original.

  Yours faithfully

Please, call me on 23482046126214 as soon as you get this mail for more details

I Checked the phone and fax number and they are Nigerian Country codes.  I wrote: 

(E-mail title:  Re: Re: Re: Partnership)

I just faxed it, please confirm. (I did not fax it.)

Grandiosely Yours,

Dave

Shinky wrote:

(E-mail title:  i did not receive any fax, please resend it)

My dear friend and brother,

How are and the family today ? I did not receive any fax there was no call to my line send the fax to 23480246126214  call me first before sending the fax so that I can activate the line.

I wrote:

(E-mail title:  Re:  i did not receive any fax, please resend it)

The family is great.  I just had a newborn child diagnosed w/ cystic fibrosis.  That's why this opportunity came along at exactly the right time. My wife and I barely came up with enough cash for the first hospital bill but after that I wasn't sure.  They said without paying the hospital bills my child will likely die.  Praise be upon you!

I just resent, please confirm!  (I did not send)

With great anticipation,

Dave

Shinky wrote:

(E-mail title:  send me your phone Number)(Shinky decided to only capitalize the last word)

Dear Friend,

I got your mail today, and I was more worried when you told me you resent the application.  However, i will want you to include your phone number in your next mail to me so that i can give you a call, and be by my fax machine why you send it.

Please my friend, try and reply my mail immediately, and lets be fast with this transfer.

Thanks and God bless

Engr Shinkafi Badmus

I didn't like his name.  I decided to change it from this point on. I also decided to ask him for money before he could ask me.      I wrote:

(E-mail title:  Re: send me your phone Number)

Shinkifulu,

After discussing this with my financial advisor and taxman, they have given me the go ahead to complete this transaction.  They said all I need from you is a wire transfer of $3000 to secure the transaction. I thought that was high but they said for a transaction of this size it is actually very reasonable.  I was also told that if you transfer the money in 30 transactions of $100 the tax penalty will be much lower.  Unfortunately, due to my child’s sickness my phone has been shut down.  I have been using the fax machine at my local Copy Shop.  (I don't want my work to know I am moonlighting. ; )

I just resent the fax, (I did not send) perhaps if it doesn't work this time you could just email me your account info for the 30 transactions of $100 and I can facilitate the transaction on my end.  

Metaphorically,

Dave

He was worried my advisors would try to cut me out of this most lucrative deal.  Bless his heart.  Shinky wrote:

(E-mail title:  send the application)

Hello Dave,

I wonder what you take me for, after telling you to fax your Application to me, but instead you when on discussing it with people who might trick you and mail me because they have been looking for an opportunity of this nature.

I told you earlier before that this transaction is base on trust and beleive, that was why I contacted you base on my beleive that you will take it personal.  You don't have to worry about securing the money, i have made arrangement to that effect already.

Try and fax your application to me, so that I will sumbit it to the Finance Ministry for immediate processing and approval of the transaction. Mail me to let me know when you will fax the papers to enable me stay by my fax machine to receive your Application.

Please act fast because we are short of time.

My regards to your family,

Engr Shinkafi Badmus.

Getting sick of his spelling and grammar errors, I decided to get in on it.  I wrote:

(E-mail title:  Re: send the application)

Shankerflub,

I have made arrangement to have my application fuxed today, Wednesday Dec 18 at 12pm Nigeria Time (It was 4pm Nigeria time when I sent this).  We can discuss the 30 transactions of $100, they are negotiable.  Do your celebrate Christmas in Nigeria, or Hannukah, or Kwanzaa, or Christian Okoye's Birthday? I think your misunderstood they reasons for the 30 transactions of $100.   This is note to gaurentee your end of they deal, but to pay may financial advisors who will be safe gaurding may new financial windfall that will be giving life to my child.  Without this money my child will surely die, therefore I must be extra careful.   Your have may implicit trust because you told me I have it.  That is enough for me.  

May the oil fields of Nigeria run black as night and full as water buffalo,

Hallucinagenically,

Dave

Here's where Dennis comes is, as my financial advisor. reginaldfarnsworth wrote:

(E-mail title:  Dave's Funding)

Dear Mr. Shinkafi Badmus:

Please let me introduce myself.  I am Reginald Farnsworth Esg., Phd., CFP, MSW & BFD.  I have been retained by Dave upon his request to advise, encourage and forthwith dispence with true regard an accurate and semi-legitiamate direction for the pending funding of the unforesaid monies.

Understand that Dave has not through malice, unconscience munipulation or remedial aftertruth to cause, afirm or retruncate this matter.

I have advised Dave with belief and unharmed disemination to proceed post-hast with all these forgone transfers and communications.

Please find me near and at your possible service.

All due respect and regards,

Dr. Reginald Farnsworth

Shinky replied to Reginald. Shinky wrote:

(E-mail title:  Re: An Application Must Be Submitted)

hello,

My friend Reginald or what you called your self.How can a transaction of this nature be sucessful with an application been submitted for proper and a sucessful transaction.

I we not reply anyother mail without an application be fax or scan to my mailbox, note that with an application been submitted to my Ministry, we can`t processed with this transaction.

So, if you are in interested in this proposal your application must be faxed or scanned to my mailbox so taht I can print it out and submit it to the  Ministry for urgent attention.

bye,

Engr Shinkafi Badmus.

Shinky keeps asking for a fax and we keep side stepping.  I have no idea what Reginald Farnsworth is actually saying in any of his emails to Shinky.  reginaldfarnsworth (Dennis) wrote:

(E-mail title:  Re:  Re: An Application Must Be Submitted)

Dear Mr. Shinkafi Badmus:

Thank you for you timely and immediate reply, your courteousness is well defined by your very nature.  I hold not at this time an application, please submit to me forthwith and with due unpresumptivous and I shall pursue without fanfare.

May I please quote what my departed father always said to me, "never look a gift cow in the mouth, for utter confusion may insue."  A motto I have always molded my life to fit with due recourse.

Come to understand with all that is above board, that this transaction shall beset by honor and extended respits.

As always, a trooper and fanatic;

Dr. Reginald Farnsworth

I needed to tell Shinky I was aware of Reginald's involvement and it was ok.  I threw in a He-man and a Golden Child reference for the hell of it.  I wrote:

(E-mail title:  Send The Application) (I act like he is the one holding it up)

Shalyfink,

My Financial Advisor, the esteemed Mr. Farnsworth has notified me of his direct involvement in this most important transaction.  Please trust that Mr. Farnsworth has been granted Power Of Attorney (Greyskull) and acts on my behalf in all matters.   He has redressed me on his communique with your office and his requests for your application to be faxed along with avoided cheque to retrieve your account information.  (The cheque is to facillitate the 30 transactions of $100.)  I am glad we are going forward with this.   Time is of the essence as my child labors daily to fulfill the lung’s requirements to be free from mucus.

My regards to you my dear sweet brother (Numsie),

Dave

Reginald is just keeping the lines of communication open. reginaldfarnsworth (Dennis) wrote:

(E-mail title:  Dave's Funding Document #3)(Dennis skipped Document #2.  Shinky didn't notice)

Dear Mr. Shinkafi Badmus:

Dave has informed me that he has continued this valuable and forthright communication with you in reference to the aforementioned transfer of 30 U.S. Dollars in 100 deposits via wire transfers to Dave's off shore account in Belize.  I am Dave's Attorney in Fact, but in fact am I an attorney?

You uncommon generosity and divine boldness will insure a life of happiness and prolonged amplitude for Dave and his lovely child, Snappypuss.

I must ascertain with all surrety that this trust of bond and simplification be help in strict rapport and confidence.  The sensibilities of unbound family desertations could be jeprodized.

With due fondness and ingenutity yours till later dude,

Dr. Reginald Farnsworth

Reginald then gets some disturbing news that could "jeprodize" our transaction.  He wants to notify Shinky but at the same time instill calm and reassurance.  reginaldfarnsworth (Dennis) wrote:

(E-mail title:  Dave's Funding Document #4)

Dear Mr. Shinkafi Badmus:

SECURITY ALERT!

I Have just received a visit from the U.S. Bureau of Customization and Intergration!  They have no proof of the pending transactions!  I have auto-protect on my hard drive and it is invincible.  Do not respond  to interogatories from any USBCI agents as the burden of proof is infinitley resplendent.

Keep a low profile, your shoulder to the wheel and ear to the ground.  Go not forth without optimization and fundemental frankness.  May the powers to be, power us not into temptation or unrest.  Hold your faith above all else, and the allmighty will make it allrighty, dighty.

Again your unclaimed resourse,

Dr. Reginald Farnsworth

Then Dennis introduces my private pilot into the lucrative deal. Planepilot99 (Dennis) wrote:

(E-mail title:  Airfield Pickup)

Dear Mr. Shinkafi Badmus

Let me introduce myself.  My name is Ace Lombardi, I
am Dr. Farnsworth's personal pilot and envoy.  

I will be in your country January 14, 2003.  Which
airport shall I land at?  It should have at least a
7000' runway to accomidate a Lear Jet.

I will be arriving at 15:00 local time, please arrange
for your limosine to meet me.  What is you local
telephone number please?

We can finalize all documents at this time for the 30
wire transfers of $100.

Thank you,

Ace

I want to let Shinky know I am keeping up with the progress of our lucrative deal.  I still cannot let the 30 transactions of $100 go. I wrote:

(E-mail title:  The Fruit Of Our Endeavor)

Stinkafi,

Everything is on schedule.  I've had Mr. Farnsworth arrange a charter flight to Nigeria in mid-January.  My hope is that at this time you will be able to hand over a suitcase (Samsonite) with my share of the transaction.  This of course is dependant on our being able to complete this deal.   I feel bad saying so but I do not believe you have been very specific on what you need me to do to get this transaction completed.   I faxed the application you sent me and you confirmed your receiving it.  Since you have it, is that all you need?   Or are there other items?  The things I still need are for you to send Mr. Farnsworth the application he requested and a voided cheque.  (30 transactions of $100)

I look forward to meeting with you personally in Nigeria in mid-january.  Perhaps I shall stay with you and we can celebrate. I would very much like to tour the Financial Ministry.

How are the family?

Best Regardless,

Dave

I told him he confirmed receiving my fax which he never did.  Just keeping it going.  reginaldfarnsworth (Dennis) wrote:

(E-mail title:  Pilot Envoy Ace Lombardi)

Dear Mr. Shinkafi:

Please be advised upon the arival of my pilot, Ace Lombardi; he will have an entourage of fifteen parties.  Seven members of the Dallas Bimbette Cheerleader Squad, two Taekwondo instructors, three member of the Icelandic Luthren Clergy and Billy Rae Bob and His Texas Troupadours.  The will need accommidations for three days.  One of them is vegiterian, another a sagitarian.

I request the highest level of security, especially in light of the fact that the Dallas Bimbettes with be on board; considering your country's customs on "loose women."

I wish to thank you in advance for your attention to detail and you above average height.

Dr. Reginald Farnsworth

Here's where Shinky gets PISSED.  His very bad grammar and spelling denote a rushed, worried and angry response.  He sends this to Ace Lombardi  and lets him know of new technology he possesses.  Shinky wrote:

(E-mail title: Re: Airfield Pickup)

Hello,
You and your collegues in this arrangement to test
my inteligent are all fools, especially Dave.  Don`t
try yourself at all because coming to me will not
favour you and your partners.I will start making
arrangement from tomorrow to put security agents on
alert to get you arrested right there at the
Airport.
Tell Dave that my agent in your country is already
searching for him and once we are able to get him
that is all.He will ever find things easy because I
will make them kill his wife and son for playing
games with me.And for you,you better start running
for your dear life because you are in trouble
already,
Our security agents have been tracking your signals
through our radio wave satellite and we are every
where,so you can`t hide from our signals you have
just sign a deat warrant for your wife and kid.
Your`s Al-Quedal Agent,
Engr Shinkafi Badmus(terriorist agent)
  
A "deat warrant"?  A terrorist from "Al-Quedal"  who signs his email with "terroriorist agent"?  Uh oh, I better placate his anger.  Most terrorists keep their identity secret so the US government doesn't find and kill them.  He is really worried we are coming to Nigeria. I wrote:

(E-mail title:  Re: Send The Application)

Slingkuku,

My financial advisor The Esteemed Mr. Farnsworth tells me you are no longer a viable option for this transaction.  I am sorry to hear that.  Give my regards to your familial unit. We have located a Mr. Herfusha Jerardia in Nigeria who is ready to move forward on this most lucrative deal.  

My wife and son give you their regards and wish you a prosperous 2003.

Many blessings,

Dave

Dennis then let's him know that we know that he is full of shit and is trying to take us for the proverbial ride.  reginaldfarnsworth (Dennis) wrote:

(E-mail title:  Re: Airfield Pickup)

Yes....we have tested your intelligence and you have
failed!  You couldn't be a terrorist because you can't
even spell most simple words let alone follow detailed
instructions.

You couldn't track a dog in cage let alone Dave or I
with a satellite and radio signals.  I am personally
surprised you can use e-mail.

You are a cheap con man preying on the elderly and
ignorant; have you no pride?

Perhaps you may consider a more noble career like "Cat
Groomer!"

Have a nice day Sir.....!  Next time you are in
Finland join me for a Vodka!

Ace Lombardi - Crack Pilot and Quasi-Wise Ass

It doesn't hurt to tell Shinky we are in Finland.  He has "beleive(d)" everything else we have told him.  But Shinky ain't done.  He sends this to me.  Shinky wrote:

(E-mail title:  You Are Finished)

How you day idiot, (I love that.  My co-workers around Dennis and I  in my office have been saying it a lot.)

sorry I must let you know that my agent from the Al-Quedal camp are aready monootring you and your family at the moment.so any attempt for you to try any mess will not favour you and your family,Bcos I am alraedy set to distroy you and your agent who have been contacting me since.

Let me tell you that no amout of security will save you from what you ahve just singed with me.

I we used both Ogun and shango to distroy oyu and your family,plus your partner in this mess.

Engr Shikafi Badmus(terriorist agent).

The bad part is he lets me know he is full of shit by mentioning my Family that I know doesn't exist and therefore cannot be monitored, plus the radio wave satellite.  What the hell is that?  And Ogun and Shango.  I'm confused.  I don't know Nigerian as well as he knows english.   I wrote:

(E-mail title: You Are Stupid)

Stupid,

You are not a terrorist.  You are not Al Queda.  You are more likely a pregnant woman. 

You are not monitoring me.  I turned on my monitoring device monitor and it shows no monitoring devices monitoring me.  You do not have a satellite, let alone one that uses radio waves to track email.  You probably have a crate that you spray painted and you and your pregnant women friends pretend you are in space when you sit in it.

You are perhaps the dumbest person I have ever tricked into thinking I would send money.  My peers and I in Finland have been laughing at you for over a week.  Thanks for the fun jackass.

Dave

Then Reginald turns on me.   reginaldfarnsworth  wrote:

(E-mail title:  Money Transfer)

Dear Mr. Shinkafi Badmus:

Unfortunetly Dave and my trusted pilot Ace Lombardi have tried to trick me in to thinking you are not sincere in your statements.  I dismissed Mr. Lombardi and chastised Dave to such a vigorous extent he went back to Finland.

I will arrive tomorrow at 15:00 local in a U. S. Navy F-18 Hornet.  Please have an application at the ready that I may submit to facilitate the immediate transfer of monies to my U. S. Account at the First National Bank of Little Fish Iowa.

Your trusted sincerity and outgoing righteousness have been fundamental in this fabrication of my transdominion!

Please advise your airfield manager that my jet will require 15,000 pounds of JP-4 and also Liquid Oxygen service.  I will pay for these in Mexican Pesos.

You trusted friend and pal buddy,

Dr. Reginald Farnsworth

Ace Lombardi is bad and wants financial renumeration.  Planepilot99 (Dennis) wrote:

(E-mail title:  Lost Job)

Mr. Badmus:

Because of your deception and trickery, Dr. Farnsworth
my employeer of 43 years has terminated me!  This
couldn't come at worse time, 2 days before Christmas
our bestus holiday of all.

I shall arive tomorrow at your airfield and expect you
to pay me 150,000 in Britsh Sterling as compensation
and damages!!

This shall be on your conscience for a long time and
eternity.

Ace Lombardi

I am sorry to say Shinky never wrote us back.  He must have realized how much we were laughing at him and moved on to steal from others.  But Dennis could not resist one more email.  I will post Shinky's response if he ever has one (fingers crossed).  A few people have said we should contact the FBI based on his threats, but he is obviously an idiot, not a terrorist.
reginaldfarnsworth wrote:

(E-mail title:  Happy Kwanzaa)

Dear Mr. Badmus:

Myself and my colleagues wish you a happy and joyful celebration of Kawanzaa!

I am sure, although not positive; doesn't Kawanzaa holds with it the tenants of honor, and personal rightousness?  This of course would not include trickery, deception and bilking innocent widows, orphans and ignorant individuals of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Myself, Dave, Ace and the Federation of United Consumers and Kawasaki owners, say take care!

Dr. Reginald Farnswork

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