-There is a fine line between clever and stupid
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Here is my
exchange with Eng (means Mr.) Shinkafi Badmus (heretofore known as Shinky)
in regards to him trying to steal my money. My co-worker Dennis (his
website) and I sent him messages over about a week. All of
his spelling and grammar errors have been left intact, all of Dennis' and
my errors are on purpose. For the purpose of deceiving this dumbass
I told him my name is Dave and Dennis is Reginald Farnsworth and Ace
Lombardi. I changed or edited the email addresses. My notes to help you along are in bold.
This business proposal I wish to intimate you with is of mutual benefit and its success is entirely based on mutual trust, cooperation and a high level of confidentiality as regard this transaction.
I am the Chairman of the contract Advisory Committee(CAC) of the Nigerian Federal Ministry of Works and Housing (FMWH). I am seeking your assistance to enable me transfer the sum of US$17,000,000.00 (Seventeen million United States Dollars) into your private/company account.
The fund came about as a result of a contract awarded and executed on behalf of my Ministry, the Federal Ministry of Works and Housing. The contract was supposed to be awarded to two foreign contractors to the tune of US$60,000,000.00 (Sixty Million United States Dollars). But in the course of negotiation, the contract was awarded to a Bulgarian contractor at the cost of US$43,000,000.00 (Forty-Three Million United States Dollars) to my benefit unknown to the contractor.
This contract has been satisfactorily executed and inspected as the Bulgarian firm is presently securing payment from my Ministry, where I am the Executive Director in-charge of all foreign contract payment approval.
As a civil servant still in active government service, I am forbidden by law to operate an account outside the shores of Nigeria. Hence this message to you seeking your assistance so as to enable me present your private/company account details as a beneficiary of contractual claims alongside that of the Bulgarian contractor, to enable me transfer the difference of US$17,000,000.00 (Seventeen Million United States Dollars) into your provided account. On actualization,the fund will be disbursed as stated below.
1. 30% of the fund will be for you as beneficiary.
2. 10% for reimbursement to both parties for incidental expenses that may be incurred during the course of the transaction.
3. 60% of the fund will be for me which I intend to invest in your country with you as my partner.
All logistics are in place and all modalities worked out for a smooth actualization of the transaction within the next few working days of commencement.
For further details as to the workability of this transaction, please respond by return mail on my confidential Email :email@example.com
Thank you and God bless as I'm anxiously waiting for your urgent response. Please when replying, indicate your confidential Tel and Fax numbers & provide a company name you would like us to use in applying for payment for urgent conclusion of the transaction.
NOTE: Your line of business does not matter, only that you must keep this transaction close to your heart at all times.
Engr Shinkafi Badmus
That sounds great! Just tell me what to do! Thanks for trusting me!
Thank you for your positive response to my email of mutual benefit. Like I told you in my email to you, I am the director of works FMW&H Nigeria and the chairman contract review panel. I am married with five children. I have put in 27 years in the service of my ministry and will be retiring by March next year.
The file to this transfer is already on my table all I now need are your company details so as to perfect the file to reflect you or your company if any as the foreign contractor that carried out erosion control and the construction of drainage system along the Warri/Port-highcourt Highway measuring 415km. I assure you that all documents as regard this transfer will be sent to you and I will always work as your agent in Nigeria. There is no risk involved as no body will ever know that you are not the contractor that did the job once your file is approved for payment along side the Bulgarian firm by my panel. Please, retype the application below on your letter headed paper and fax back to my direct tel/fax line 23482046126214 so as to enable me make application on your behalf to the Federal Ministry Finance of Nigeria for final payment.
The Accountant Genreal
Federal Ministry Of Finance
Federal Secretariat Building
APPLICATION FOR CONTRACTUAL CLAIM
I hereby apply for the payment of USD17M (seventeen million United State
dollars) being payment due to in respect of contract
no.PEFD/043/FMW&H/WR-PH/97; which has been dully completed and commissioned.
I shall be grateful if this application is treated with dispatch.
This fax copy should be accepted in place of the original.
Please, call me on 23482046126214 as soon as you get this mail for more details
the phone and fax number and they are Nigerian Country codes. I
How are and the family today ? I did not receive any fax there was no call to my line send the fax to 23480246126214 call me first before sending the fax so that I can activate the line.
The family is great. I just had a newborn child diagnosed w/ cystic fibrosis. That's why this opportunity came along at exactly the right time. My wife and I barely came up with enough cash for the first hospital bill but after that I wasn't sure. They said without paying the hospital bills my child will likely die. Praise be upon you!
I just resent, please confirm! (I did not send)
With great anticipation,
I got your mail today, and I was more worried when you told me you resent the application. However, i will want you to include your phone number in your next mail to me so that i can give you a call, and be by my fax machine why you send it.
Please my friend, try and reply my mail immediately, and lets be fast with this transfer.
Thanks and God bless
Engr Shinkafi Badmus
I didn't like his name. I decided to change it from this point on. I also decided to ask him for money before he could ask me. I wrote:
After discussing this with my financial advisor and taxman, they have given me the go ahead to complete this transaction. They said all I need from you is a wire transfer of $3000 to secure the transaction. I thought that was high but they said for a transaction of this size it is actually very reasonable. I was also told that if you transfer the money in 30 transactions of $100 the tax penalty will be much lower. Unfortunately, due to my childs sickness my phone has been shut down. I have been using the fax machine at my local Copy Shop. (I don't want my work to know I am moonlighting. ; )
I just resent the fax, (I did not send) perhaps if it doesn't work this time you could just email me your account info for the 30 transactions of $100 and I can facilitate the transaction on my end.
was worried my advisors would try to cut me out of this most lucrative
deal. Bless his heart. Shinky wrote:
I wonder what you take me for, after telling you to fax your Application to me, but instead you when on discussing it with people who might trick you and mail me because they have been looking for an opportunity of this nature.
I told you earlier before that this transaction is base on trust and beleive, that was why I contacted you base on my beleive that you will take it personal. You don't have to worry about securing the money, i have made arrangement to that effect already.
Try and fax your application to me, so that I will sumbit it to the Finance Ministry for immediate processing and approval of the transaction. Mail me to let me know when you will fax the papers to enable me stay by my fax machine to receive your Application.
Please act fast because we are short of time.
My regards to your family,
Engr Shinkafi Badmus.
Getting sick of his spelling and grammar errors, I decided to get in on it. I wrote:
where Dennis comes is, as my financial advisor. reginaldfarnsworth
Please let me introduce myself. I am Reginald Farnsworth Esg., Phd., CFP, MSW & BFD. I have been retained by Dave upon his request to advise, encourage and forthwith dispence with true regard an accurate and semi-legitiamate direction for the pending funding of the unforesaid monies.
Understand that Dave has not through malice, unconscience munipulation or remedial aftertruth to cause, afirm or retruncate this matter.
I have advised Dave with belief and unharmed disemination to proceed post-hast with all these forgone transfers and communications.
Please find me near and at your possible service.
All due respect and regards,
Dr. Reginald Farnsworth
replied to Reginald. Shinky wrote:
My friend Reginald or what you called your self.How can a transaction of this nature be sucessful with an application been submitted for proper and a sucessful transaction.
I we not reply anyother mail without an application be fax or scan to my mailbox, note that with an application been submitted to my Ministry, we can`t processed with this transaction.
So, if you are in interested in this proposal your application must be faxed or scanned to my mailbox so taht I can print it out and submit it to the Ministry for urgent attention.
Engr Shinkafi Badmus.
Shinky keeps asking for a fax and we keep side stepping. I have no idea what Reginald Farnsworth is actually saying in any of his emails to Shinky. reginaldfarnsworth (Dennis) wrote:
Thank you for you timely and immediate reply, your courteousness is well defined by your very nature. I hold not at this time an application, please submit to me forthwith and with due unpresumptivous and I shall pursue without fanfare.
May I please quote what my departed father always said to me, "never look a gift cow in the mouth, for utter confusion may insue." A motto I have always molded my life to fit with due recourse.
Come to understand with all that is above board, that this transaction shall beset by honor and extended respits.
As always, a trooper and fanatic;
Dr. Reginald Farnsworth
I needed to tell Shinky I was aware of Reginald's involvement and it was ok. I threw in a He-man and a Golden Child reference for the hell of it. I wrote:
My Financial Advisor, the esteemed Mr. Farnsworth has notified me of his direct involvement in this most important transaction. Please trust that Mr. Farnsworth has been granted Power Of Attorney (Greyskull) and acts on my behalf in all matters. He has redressed me on his communique with your office and his requests for your application to be faxed along with avoided cheque to retrieve your account information. (The cheque is to facillitate the 30 transactions of $100.) I am glad we are going forward with this. Time is of the essence as my child labors daily to fulfill the lungs requirements to be free from mucus.
My regards to you my dear sweet brother (Numsie),
is just keeping the lines of communication open. reginaldfarnsworth
Dave has informed me that he has continued
this valuable and forthright communication with you in reference to the
aforementioned transfer of 30 U.S. Dollars in 100 deposits via wire
transfers to Dave's off shore account in Belize. I am Dave's
Attorney in Fact, but in fact am I an attorney?
You uncommon generosity and divine
boldness will insure a life of happiness and prolonged amplitude for Dave
and his lovely child, Snappypuss.
I must ascertain with all surrety that
this trust of bond and simplification be help in strict rapport and
confidence. The sensibilities of unbound family desertations could
With due fondness and ingenutity yours
till later dude,
Dr. Reginald Farnsworth
Reginald then gets some disturbing news that could "jeprodize" our transaction. He wants to notify Shinky but at the same time instill calm and reassurance. reginaldfarnsworth (Dennis) wrote:
I Have just received a visit from the U.S.
Bureau of Customization and Intergration! They have no proof of the
pending transactions! I have auto-protect on my hard drive and it is
invincible. Do not respond to interogatories from any USBCI
agents as the burden of proof is infinitley resplendent.
Keep a low profile, your shoulder to the
wheel and ear to the ground. Go not forth without optimization and
fundemental frankness. May the powers to be, power us not into
temptation or unrest. Hold your faith above all else, and the
allmighty will make it allrighty, dighty.
Again your unclaimed resourse,
Dr. Reginald Farnsworth
Dennis introduces my private pilot into the lucrative deal. Planepilot99
I want to let Shinky know I am keeping up with the progress of our lucrative deal. I still cannot let the 30 transactions of $100 go. I wrote:
Dear Mr. Shinkafi:
Please be advised upon the arival of my
pilot, Ace Lombardi; he will have an entourage of fifteen parties.
Seven members of the Dallas Bimbette Cheerleader Squad, two Taekwondo
instructors, three member of the Icelandic Luthren Clergy and Billy Rae
Bob and His Texas Troupadours. The will need accommidations for
three days. One of them is vegiterian, another a sagitarian.
I request the highest level of security,
especially in light of the fact that the Dallas Bimbettes with be on
board; considering your country's customs on "loose women."
I wish to thank you in advance for your
attention to detail and you above average height.
Dr. Reginald Farnsworth
where Shinky gets PISSED. His very bad grammar and spelling denote a
rushed, worried and angry response. He sends this to Ace
Lombardi and lets him know of new technology he possesses.
then let's him know that we know that he is full of shit and is trying to
take us for the proverbial ride.
sorry I must let you know that my agent
from the Al-Quedal camp are aready monootring you and your family at the
moment.so any attempt for you to try any mess will not favour you and your
family,Bcos I am alraedy set to distroy you and your agent who have been
contacting me since.
Let me tell you that no amout of security
will save you from what you ahve just singed with me.
I we used both Ogun and shango to distroy
oyu and your family,plus your partner in this mess.
Engr Shikafi Badmus(terriorist agent).
bad part is he lets me know he is full of shit by mentioning my Family
that I know doesn't exist and therefore cannot be monitored, plus the
radio wave satellite. What the hell is that? And Ogun and
Shango. I'm confused. I don't know Nigerian as well as he
knows english. I wrote:
You are not a terrorist.
You are not Al Queda. You
are more likely a pregnant woman.
You are not monitoring me.
I turned on my monitoring device monitor and it shows no monitoring
devices monitoring me. You do
not have a satellite, let alone one that uses radio waves to track email.
You probably have a crate that you spray painted and you and your
pregnant women friends pretend you are in space when you sit in it.
You are perhaps the dumbest person I have
ever tricked into thinking I would send money. My peers and I in Finland have been laughing at you for over
a week. Thanks for the fun
Reginald turns on me. reginaldfarnsworth wrote:
Unfortunetly Dave and my trusted pilot Ace
Lombardi have tried to trick me in to thinking you are not sincere in your
statements. I dismissed Mr. Lombardi and chastised Dave to such a
vigorous extent he went back to Finland.
I will arrive tomorrow at 15:00 local in a
U. S. Navy F-18 Hornet. Please have an application at the ready that
I may submit to facilitate the immediate transfer of monies to my U. S.
Account at the First National Bank of Little Fish Iowa.
Your trusted sincerity and outgoing
righteousness have been fundamental in this fabrication of my
Please advise your airfield manager that
my jet will require 15,000 pounds of JP-4 and also Liquid Oxygen service.
I will pay for these in Mexican Pesos.
You trusted friend and pal buddy,
Dr. Reginald Farnsworth
Lombardi is bad and wants financial renumeration. Planepilot99 (Dennis) wrote:
Myself and my colleagues wish you a happy and joyful celebration of Kawanzaa!
I am sure, although not positive; doesn't Kawanzaa holds with it the tenants of honor, and personal rightousness? This of course would not include trickery, deception and bilking innocent widows, orphans and ignorant individuals of hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Myself, Dave, Ace and the Federation of United Consumers and Kawasaki owners, say take care!
Dr. Reginald Farnswork
Contact Daniel James Davis, Esquire
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